Thank you for undertaking the task of conveying your path to matrimony. I found it to be an open, honest and very personal account of the difficulties British Muslims, especially those who are educated and are engaged in professional careers, encounter when seeking the ‘right’ one.

Growing up accustomed to variations to the norms and ideas held by the cultural tradition of family has lead to the younger generation of British-Muslims holding loftier expectations of marriage than their parents. It is no longer about finding a partner with the ‘correct’ outward (superficial) characteristics, but instead the inner dimensions of that person and how compatible it is with our own personality, ambitions and sense of the world – a person we can (dare I say it) love. The one-page curriculum-vitae of the prospected partner works for some but not for others.

University graduates often seek partners with similar educational attainments. Not owing to any ephemeral notion of ’status’, but because it’s more likely that career paths and goals will be similar. This narrows the field of potential Muslim partners even further. But what is becoming increasingly common is the search for practising Muslims. Not just those who follow the five daily prayers, who fast during the prescribed month. But those who live and breathe Islam – who ponder over the philosophical underpinning of ritual, who might even engage in the metaphysics of tassawuf. I found your determination to become partners with someone who uplifts you spiritually as well as emotionally, immensely admirable.

Perhaps the central element of what I got out of your book was that Muslim women should be encouraged to seek their own partners. Support from family is a bonus, though when familial expectations conflict with personal ones there definitely needs to be a talk. Unfortunately some Muslim communities in the UK hold their sons to different standards than daughters. University educated women are lauded but then suddenly expected to enter into partnership with a man from the ‘old country’ or something other that is improperly thought out. I write from the perspective of the British-Bengali community. It is only natural that, as Muslim society (if one can classify it as one homogeneous mass) in the UK evolves, so will the machinations of marriage.

Female empowerment comes in many forms. Islam, unveiled to its full splendour, is one of them. Attaining knowledge and engaging in travel is greatly encouraged in Islam for each devotee. I enjoyed your tales of travelling around the Middle-East and hope that more Muslim women will be encouraged to do this.

I hope more men read your book. In fact, I believe it is critically important.

With kind wishes, khaled.

You mention in one of your blogs that Jack Straw thinks Muslim women should be seen and not heard and he should get tips from David Blunket. Isn’t that rather turning the issue around?

He isn’t blind, and he did want a FACE-to-FACE interview, not a FACE-to-NOFACE interview.

The woman in question obviously wanted a face-to-face interview rather than a blind one, hence her going to his office and not calling him up. Obviously she recognised the value in doing that. But apparently she didn’t think she needed to afford the other person the same courtesy.

It’s not unreasonable to expect people to remove face coverings such as veils and sun glasses when you’re talking to them. After all veils are designed precisely in order to keep people at a distance. If people want to put obstacles in the way of face-to-face communication, then they shouldn’t be surprised if other people take the hint and don’t feel like overcoming them or ask for the other person to meet them on equal terms.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/uae-detains-dubai-democracy-activist-blogger-who-called-for-elected-parliament-in-gulf-nation/2011/04/08/AF5EwA2C_story.html

I’m all for liberty for all. When can I expect your post about Liberty for All discussing political repression in the UAE, where your most recent article was published?

“Europe must be more principled in its approach to dealing with its Muslim populations. Countries such as the UK and France are taking bold actions in Libya to support the movement towards freedom and democracy. At the same time, domestically they wish to suppress Muslim self-expression.”

As does the government in the UAE, evidenced by the suppression of Muslim self-expression. So, I reiterate, when can I expect that article?

once a saint ws cookng his food. suddenly he lukd upward seeing a flock of birds flew ovr his head.at da very moment he got enlighted by tao.aftwards he contined his cookng as b4. bt he ws not da same as b4…

similar vl b da xperienc of many who read ‘luv in a headscarf’. it s a journey in search of da One,da Luv, da Truth vch xplores thru da ’silent islands of islam’(thanx 4 p.a.nasimudin). it vl entertain,xcite nd enlight u..

a nyc valentins day readng xprnce..thanx 2 sherlina..